


Trust

by HiMiTSu



Series: Same Old [3]
Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: A little angst, M/M, a little romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-12
Updated: 2015-03-12
Packaged: 2018-03-17 13:46:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3531530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HiMiTSu/pseuds/HiMiTSu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Merlin's responsibility to take care of all the Kingsman equipment. Any mistakes and malfunctions are unacceptable.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Trust

**Author's Note:**

> Here is a Chinese trnaslation avaliable by [ AppleTrees](http://archiveofourown.org/users/AppleTrees/pseuds/AppleTrees) http://zhizhizhizhizhizhizhi.lofter.com/post/3ef3b7_693d49e

 

His hands start trembling sometime around three in the morning. He tries to shake it off, putting the instruments down and clenching and unclenching his fist to give his fingers some exercise. They cramped and now the movement hurt, but he repeats the action insistently until his knuckles crack and his wrist recovers its full mobility. Then he grabs the soldering iron again, bending over his work. It’s dark in the lab, only the bright lamp over his workspace; usually it has a calming effect on him but this night there is a frantic fear creeping up his neck, wrapping around his head and clouding his mind. He can’t shake it off no matter what he does. So Merlin works, taking a piece of equipment apart, analyzing it carefully under the magnifying glass. He’s trying to find a fault. A mistake he made during construction.

Merlin’s fingers clench over the handle too tightly and he has to force himself to calm down.

A mistake that almost cost Galahad his life.

An umbrella malfunction, protective shield was unable to hold off a bullet and it shot right through. It went right past Galahad’s head, leaving a bloody scrape on his cheek. Through the camera in the knight’s glasses Merlin had seen the fabric of umbrella resist the hit of two bullets but as a web of electric currents spread from the points of impact he instantly knew that something was wrong, the third bullet went through. Merlin held his breath as it soared past Galahad’s face, shouting into the earpiece, demanding to know if the knight was alright. Galahad grumbled an affirmative as he ducked for cover.

The mission was over soon after that, the knight returning to the mansion victorious.

A cut on his cheek was already healing; he waved it off as a minor injury. ‘Not even an injury’, Harry joked off with a smile. But Merlin couldn’t tear his eyes away from it, from a proof of his failure. He wasn’t able to protect Harry. His mistake…

Merlin closes his eyes, bright light from the lamp dancing behind closed eyelids, to give them some rest. A deep breath to calm down, to shoo away the troubling memories. A minute is enough and he opens his eyes again, slowly, knowing the brightness can be too much, and gets back to work disassembling the umbrella. He already found what the problem was but he is determined to make sure there is nothing else. He can not allow any more mistakes like that.

So Merlin works.

After the digital clock on the wall turns to four o’clock a sound of the door being opened – a soft click too loud in the empty silence – startles Merlin from his trance-like state. He puts the instruments down, squinting into the shadows, unable to see anything because of the only source of light right under his nose.

A voice penetrates the darkness before his eyes adjust and he can see Harry. “What are you doing here?”

“Just finishing some work.” Merlin waves him off. It’s not unusual for either of them to have work at odd hours, but they still take some time to rest after difficult mission. This one definitely classifies as such. Merlin holds his gaze for a moment, gives a reassuring smile. It’s still hard to make out the other’s expression in the dark, but he hopes he managed to pull off nonchalance.

When Harry’s shadow shrugs and moves around the lab, Merlin looks back at the electronics he’s working on. He feels the knight’s presence at his back and rearranges pieces of the umbrella on the desk just so the device will seem unrecognizable.

Merlin startles again when hands hug him from behind, Harry’s forehead falling onto his shoulder with a content sigh. “Come to bed,” a soft voice whispers into his neck and Merlin can’t help it – he smiles and brings his hand to run his fingers through Harry’s hair.

“Just as I finish with this,” he replies, just as softly, as if not wanting to disturb the silence of the lab.

“What is that?” Harry lifts his head, curiously peeking at the remains of the device. It’s hard to tell from how Merlin had already taken it to pieces and he hopes the other won’t understand…

“Is at an umbrella?” Harry asks, still sleepy.

Merlin feels more than hears his sharp intake of breath as the realization dawns on him. Hands around Merlin’s neck tighten and attempt to drag him away from the table, but Harry isn’t using much strength, just gently moving away and trying to take Merlin with him, so the movement is easy to resist.

“I’m just…” The words stick to his throat because he can’t come up with an explanation that won’t make his lover worry.

“You shouldn’t dwell on it.” Harry mumbles, moving back in. His lips press a soft kiss to the side of Merlin’s head.

Merlin tenses. “Something was wrong with it.”

“Just a malfunction…”

“You could have died.” Merlin presses as another soft kiss fails to sooth him.

“I did not. I’m fine.” Harry reassures.

“And it would have been my fault.” Finally he admits to the truth that had been eating at him.

“No.” Harry says with passion.

Merlin can’t see his face but it’s easy to imagine the hard set of his jaw and the furrowing of his brows.

“In no way what had happened is your fault.”

“I gave you damaged equipment for the mission. It’s my responsibility to take care of it.”

“You better than anyone know that there isn’t a device that is one hundred percent foolproof.”

Merlin bites down on a harsh retort; he’s angry at himself not at Harry.

“It’s fine.” Harry’s whisper reassures him. “I’m alright. Everything is fine. I know you’ll do anything to protect me.”

There is a smile against Merlin’s neck and a kiss. It finally has the desired effect, relaxing. He leans back against Harry’s chest, letting the other man’s breathing to calm him down.

Then there is a name, whispered into Merlin’s ear. _His name_. His real name – not a pseudonym they’d given him upon joining the Kingsman. Harry belongs to a very small circle of people who know it, and so he’s perfectly aware of how it makes Merlin feel.

“Come on,” Harry repeats and this time Merlin allows himself to be led away from the workstation, down the darkened corridor, through to Merlin’s rooms in the mansion and to the bedroom.

Gently he cups Harry’s cheek, running his thumb over the small cut and leans in to press his lips to it, a soft lingering touch.

“It’s alright,” Harry repeats like a litany under his breath as he turns his head and catches Merlin lips.

Finally, Merlin believes him.


End file.
